An all-action heroine Michelle Yeoh

LONDON, Jan 1 — There's a jaunty rap at the door, and in bounds Michelle Yeoh. She's on springs, despite just having arrived in London after stops in Paris, Taiwan and Hong Kong. But perhaps that's not surprising: from her earliest action films, energy has always characterised her work.

We meet in an apartment where glossy copies of Variety magazine are strewn around us, their covers trumpeting potential Oscar contenders such as “Frost/Nixon” and “The Reader”.

Yeoh, 46, is no stranger to that world. After impressing as the Bond girl Wai Lin in “Tomorrow Never Dies” in 1997, she went on to star in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, Ang Lee's Oscar-winning martial-arts love story of 2000.

It was one of the biggest non-English language hits of all time. But the film she has come to discuss is more mesmerising than most of the titles likely to be vying for Hollywood doorstops next February, the mesmerising “Far North”, directed by the British filmmaker Asif Kapadia and shot on Svalbard, in the Arctic Ocean above Norway, the most northern settlement in the world.

Yeoh plays Saiva, who passes her days in the icy wasteland hunting animals with her companion, Anja (Michelle Krusiec), and reflecting on a life that has been cursed ever since a shaman declared she was bad juju. Wandering the plains one day, who should she find curled up on the ice but Sean Bean? Many women would consider this a boon. But once Bean has thawed out, his presence jeopardises the women's relationship, with unsettling consequences.

"When I got the script," Yeoh says, "I thought: either my agent wants to kill me or he's telling me I need a challenge." She gives an emphatic laugh. Like all her films, “Far North” was hugely physically demanding.

Yeoh, who made her name as an action star in Hong Kong in the early to mid-90s, is probably the actor of her age most likely to be found begging a director to stuff the insurers and let her perform her own stunts. While “Far North” might seem worlds away from movies such as “Police Story 3: Supercop” (memorable for one particularly awesome motorcycle leap on to a moving train), what they have in common is the sheer stamina each has required of her. Indeed it was the harsh conditions and natural hazards that attracted her to “Far North”, she says. But then it's probably a breeze to work under constant threat of polar bear attack when you've acted alongside Vin Diesel, as Yeoh did in “Babylon AD”.

"On ‘Far North’, we were always aware of being at the whim of mother nature," she says. "She's the biggest star in the film. But I had always longed to go to the North Pole, and the best time to go somewhere is when you're working on a film. You can roll up your sleeves, get to know the people. That's what I did — I spent time with the locals, I hung out with them, soaked them up, watched how they move and sit, with their legs slightly spread, their shoulders hunched. They don't have big gestures but their movements are basic, refined, pure."

She says that the role itself took her "to dark places most of us can't get our heads around. We were all living together on a boat, an ice breaker, with all this jaw-dropping scenery around us — all those miles and miles of nothing."

You sense that “Far North”, like her role last year in Danny Boyle's science-fiction thriller “Sunshine”, came as something of a tonic after the big-budget productions she's done — from “Tomorrow Never Dies” to “Memoirs of a Geisha” ("Two-and-a-half hours in makeup — every day!") to the recent “Mummy” threequel, “Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”.

"It's so important for me to do my own stunts," Yeoh says. "The sense of achievement is so immense. But the studios don't want to take the risk. 'You're an actor, actors don't do stunts!' And if they do let you do anything, they wrap you in so much cotton wool it takes away the fun anyway."

Yeoh, who was born Yeoh Chu-Kheng to an affluent family in Ipoh, Malaysia, has always been interested in using her body to express herself. "Body language is more fascinating to me than actual language," she says. "Before you get into the mind, you have to inhabit the physicality. Body language is a great way of speaking." She says she has to use her body "to help the audience overcome the fact that they are watching Michelle Yeoh — I have to rid myself of my usual mannerisms, my usual way of moving and behaving, so that they see only the role, and don't think of, say, Crouching Tiger."

Given that she sees her body as her prime mode of self-expression, it's not hard to imagine the trauma she suffered at the age of 16 when her hopes of becoming a ballet dancer were dashed by a back injury. At the time she was studying at London's Royal Academy of Dance, hoping to become a prima ballerina.

"People talk about seeing their dreams shattered, but that really happened to me," she says. "The doctor asked me, 'Have you ever thought of doing something other than dance?' Suddenly it hit me: he wasn't joking." The principal pointed out to Yeoh that ballet was only a small part of dance, and that there were other ways for her to express physicality. Although she couldn't carry on with her dance degree, Yeoh stayed on at the Royal Academy, studying choreography instead, and graduated in 1982 with a BA in creative arts with a minor in drama. It is to be hoped that the kindly principal who advised her back then has since got around to renting out “The Story of Stuntwoman Ah Kam”, released in 1996, in which Yeoh falls 18ft on to her head, or “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, where her limbs, muscular and graceful, move at such speed they are a constant blur.

After leaving the Academy, Yeoh returned briefly to Malaysia — just long enough for her mother to enter her into a beauty pageant. She picked up the Miss Malaysia title, seemingly the way other people pick up colds, and went on to take part in Miss World (which she did not win). This particular career trajectory was interrupted when, in Hong Kong, she caught the eye of the billionaire studio head Dickson Poon. He persuaded her to make commercials (she starred opposite Jackie Chan in her first one) and then convinced her to sign a movie contract with his company, D&B Films. Poon then completed a hat-trick by asking Yeoh to marry him. She still expresses surprise that their wedding, in 1988, was a cover story in Hong Kong. But here's the strange part: having launched Yeoh's career, after they married in 1988, Poon asked her to quit acting.

Why did she agree? Yeoh explains, patiently, that she was entirely in accord with her then-husband's wishes. "It wasn't a hard decision because I saw marriage as a full existence. I see someone now like Emma Thompson or Kate Winslet, who can juggle their careers and their family life, but that felt beyond me then. Maybe it comes from the Asian culture, but my thinking was that I couldn't be running around all over the world, jumping off buildings, if I was going to give my marriage 100 per cent. When I choose to do something, I always give it my complete commitment. If I feel I've done my best, and it's not going the way it should, then I'll leave. That's what I did with my marriage."

When Yeoh and Poon divorced after just over three years of marriage, she was surprised to find her stock was still high in the film industry . "No one thought I'd left for good — they were keeping my seat warm for me. So I jumped back in."

Earlier this year Yeoh announced her engagement to Jean Todt, the French executive director of Ferrari's Formula One team. What if he were to suggest she give up acting? "He would never do that," she says. "He would never ask that of me. He's very sensible and supportive. He even came out to see me during “Far North”. And when he wasn't there, he sent me food packages."

This is good news indeed. It would be a shame if Yeoh were to call time on a career in which she has punched and kicked in the face of so many industry prejudices. As an Asian woman in her mid-forties, her every appearance on screen defies mainstream cinema's bias towards the youthful, and the Caucasian.

"I appreciate I am very blessed, so I do work my hardest when I get the opportunity," she says. "Asian performers have always had to fight cliched roles — the Suzie Wong type, the Chinatown waitress, the Chinatown-whatever. Even 10 years ago, they were the only roles available. You would think I would've been working non-stop after ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’, but my next western film wasn't until ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ three years later. Why? Because no one was offering me the roles I wanted. It was still the same old stereotypes. If you look at my CV, there's not a big repertoire. Things are getting better now, but the same problem still arises sometimes. When I told my agent I wanted to work with Danny Boyle on ‘Sunshine’, he said, 'There's not really a role there for an Asian face.' But that's the thing: I'm not an Asian face. I'm an actress. That's what we need to overcome."

Five key Yeoh films

Police Story 3: Supercop (1992)

Yeoh's triumphant return to acting after a three-year hiatus was one of her most demanding roles. As a mainland Chinese police officer assisting Hong Kong cop Jackie Chan on an undercover assignment in China, she more than held her own alongside her more famous sidekick, matching him stunt for daredevil stunt.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Yeoh was an unknown quantity to Western audiences when she appeared opposite Pierce Brosnan in his second Bond movie. Her quick-witted, no-nonsense performance refused to adhere to the Bond girl stereotype of subservient eye-candy: Brosnan himself was so impressed by her stylishness, daring and aplomb, he called her "the female James Bond".

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

This was the one for Yeoh — in Ang Lee's peculiarly tender martial arts adventure, she found a role that married her physical prowess to her subtle acting skills. Whether yearning gently for Chow Yun-Fat or trading blows 40ft in the air with young pretender Zhang Ziyi, Yeoh took your breath away.

Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

There was controversy over the casting of Chinese actors in Japanese parts, but Yeoh's performance as the graceful mentor to the film's heroine again gave her another valuable opportunity, after “Crouching Tiger”, to express her physical dexterity and dance background in a substantial acting role.

Sunshine (2007)

It's a testament to Yeoh's flexibility that she fitted in seamlessly as an environmentally concerned astronaut in Danny Boyle's science-fiction thriller, filmed at 3 Mills Studios in east London. As an admirer of Boyle's work, she lobbied hard for the part, which was written for a younger, non-Asian actor. — The Guardian

An all-action heroine Michelle Yeoh

LONDON, Jan 1 — There's a jaunty rap at the door, and in bounds Michelle Yeoh. She's on springs, despite just having arrived in London after stops in Paris, Taiwan and Hong Kong. But perhaps that's not surprising: from her earliest action films, energy has always characterised her work.

We meet in an apartment where glossy copies of Variety magazine are strewn around us, their covers trumpeting potential Oscar contenders such as “Frost/Nixon” and “The Reader”.

Yeoh, 46, is no stranger to that world. After impressing as the Bond girl Wai Lin in “Tomorrow Never Dies” in 1997, she went on to star in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, Ang Lee's Oscar-winning martial-arts love story of 2000.

It was one of the biggest non-English language hits of all time. But the film she has come to discuss is more mesmerising than most of the titles likely to be vying for Hollywood doorstops next February, the mesmerising “Far North”, directed by the British filmmaker Asif Kapadia and shot on Svalbard, in the Arctic Ocean above Norway, the most northern settlement in the world.

Yeoh plays Saiva, who passes her days in the icy wasteland hunting animals with her companion, Anja (Michelle Krusiec), and reflecting on a life that has been cursed ever since a shaman declared she was bad juju. Wandering the plains one day, who should she find curled up on the ice but Sean Bean? Many women would consider this a boon. But once Bean has thawed out, his presence jeopardises the women's relationship, with unsettling consequences.

"When I got the script," Yeoh says, "I thought: either my agent wants to kill me or he's telling me I need a challenge." She gives an emphatic laugh. Like all her films, “Far North” was hugely physically demanding.

Yeoh, who made her name as an action star in Hong Kong in the early to mid-90s, is probably the actor of her age most likely to be found begging a director to stuff the insurers and let her perform her own stunts. While “Far North” might seem worlds away from movies such as “Police Story 3: Supercop” (memorable for one particularly awesome motorcycle leap on to a moving train), what they have in common is the sheer stamina each has required of her. Indeed it was the harsh conditions and natural hazards that attracted her to “Far North”, she says. But then it's probably a breeze to work under constant threat of polar bear attack when you've acted alongside Vin Diesel, as Yeoh did in “Babylon AD”.

"On ‘Far North’, we were always aware of being at the whim of mother nature," she says. "She's the biggest star in the film. But I had always longed to go to the North Pole, and the best time to go somewhere is when you're working on a film. You can roll up your sleeves, get to know the people. That's what I did — I spent time with the locals, I hung out with them, soaked them up, watched how they move and sit, with their legs slightly spread, their shoulders hunched. They don't have big gestures but their movements are basic, refined, pure."

She says that the role itself took her "to dark places most of us can't get our heads around. We were all living together on a boat, an ice breaker, with all this jaw-dropping scenery around us — all those miles and miles of nothing."

You sense that “Far North”, like her role last year in Danny Boyle's science-fiction thriller “Sunshine”, came as something of a tonic after the big-budget productions she's done — from “Tomorrow Never Dies” to “Memoirs of a Geisha” ("Two-and-a-half hours in makeup — every day!") to the recent “Mummy” threequel, “Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”.

"It's so important for me to do my own stunts," Yeoh says. "The sense of achievement is so immense. But the studios don't want to take the risk. 'You're an actor, actors don't do stunts!' And if they do let you do anything, they wrap you in so much cotton wool it takes away the fun anyway."

Yeoh, who was born Yeoh Chu-Kheng to an affluent family in Ipoh, Malaysia, has always been interested in using her body to express herself. "Body language is more fascinating to me than actual language," she says. "Before you get into the mind, you have to inhabit the physicality. Body language is a great way of speaking." She says she has to use her body "to help the audience overcome the fact that they are watching Michelle Yeoh — I have to rid myself of my usual mannerisms, my usual way of moving and behaving, so that they see only the role, and don't think of, say, Crouching Tiger."

Given that she sees her body as her prime mode of self-expression, it's not hard to imagine the trauma she suffered at the age of 16 when her hopes of becoming a ballet dancer were dashed by a back injury. At the time she was studying at London's Royal Academy of Dance, hoping to become a prima ballerina.

"People talk about seeing their dreams shattered, but that really happened to me," she says. "The doctor asked me, 'Have you ever thought of doing something other than dance?' Suddenly it hit me: he wasn't joking." The principal pointed out to Yeoh that ballet was only a small part of dance, and that there were other ways for her to express physicality. Although she couldn't carry on with her dance degree, Yeoh stayed on at the Royal Academy, studying choreography instead, and graduated in 1982 with a BA in creative arts with a minor in drama. It is to be hoped that the kindly principal who advised her back then has since got around to renting out “The Story of Stuntwoman Ah Kam”, released in 1996, in which Yeoh falls 18ft on to her head, or “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, where her limbs, muscular and graceful, move at such speed they are a constant blur.

After leaving the Academy, Yeoh returned briefly to Malaysia — just long enough for her mother to enter her into a beauty pageant. She picked up the Miss Malaysia title, seemingly the way other people pick up colds, and went on to take part in Miss World (which she did not win). This particular career trajectory was interrupted when, in Hong Kong, she caught the eye of the billionaire studio head Dickson Poon. He persuaded her to make commercials (she starred opposite Jackie Chan in her first one) and then convinced her to sign a movie contract with his company, D&B Films. Poon then completed a hat-trick by asking Yeoh to marry him. She still expresses surprise that their wedding, in 1988, was a cover story in Hong Kong. But here's the strange part: having launched Yeoh's career, after they married in 1988, Poon asked her to quit acting.

Why did she agree? Yeoh explains, patiently, that she was entirely in accord with her then-husband's wishes. "It wasn't a hard decision because I saw marriage as a full existence. I see someone now like Emma Thompson or Kate Winslet, who can juggle their careers and their family life, but that felt beyond me then. Maybe it comes from the Asian culture, but my thinking was that I couldn't be running around all over the world, jumping off buildings, if I was going to give my marriage 100 per cent. When I choose to do something, I always give it my complete commitment. If I feel I've done my best, and it's not going the way it should, then I'll leave. That's what I did with my marriage."

When Yeoh and Poon divorced after just over three years of marriage, she was surprised to find her stock was still high in the film industry . "No one thought I'd left for good — they were keeping my seat warm for me. So I jumped back in."

Earlier this year Yeoh announced her engagement to Jean Todt, the French executive director of Ferrari's Formula One team. What if he were to suggest she give up acting? "He would never do that," she says. "He would never ask that of me. He's very sensible and supportive. He even came out to see me during “Far North”. And when he wasn't there, he sent me food packages."

This is good news indeed. It would be a shame if Yeoh were to call time on a career in which she has punched and kicked in the face of so many industry prejudices. As an Asian woman in her mid-forties, her every appearance on screen defies mainstream cinema's bias towards the youthful, and the Caucasian.

"I appreciate I am very blessed, so I do work my hardest when I get the opportunity," she says. "Asian performers have always had to fight cliched roles — the Suzie Wong type, the Chinatown waitress, the Chinatown-whatever. Even 10 years ago, they were the only roles available. You would think I would've been working non-stop after ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’, but my next western film wasn't until ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ three years later. Why? Because no one was offering me the roles I wanted. It was still the same old stereotypes. If you look at my CV, there's not a big repertoire. Things are getting better now, but the same problem still arises sometimes. When I told my agent I wanted to work with Danny Boyle on ‘Sunshine’, he said, 'There's not really a role there for an Asian face.' But that's the thing: I'm not an Asian face. I'm an actress. That's what we need to overcome."

Five key Yeoh films

Police Story 3: Supercop (1992)

Yeoh's triumphant return to acting after a three-year hiatus was one of her most demanding roles. As a mainland Chinese police officer assisting Hong Kong cop Jackie Chan on an undercover assignment in China, she more than held her own alongside her more famous sidekick, matching him stunt for daredevil stunt.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Yeoh was an unknown quantity to Western audiences when she appeared opposite Pierce Brosnan in his second Bond movie. Her quick-witted, no-nonsense performance refused to adhere to the Bond girl stereotype of subservient eye-candy: Brosnan himself was so impressed by her stylishness, daring and aplomb, he called her "the female James Bond".

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

This was the one for Yeoh — in Ang Lee's peculiarly tender martial arts adventure, she found a role that married her physical prowess to her subtle acting skills. Whether yearning gently for Chow Yun-Fat or trading blows 40ft in the air with young pretender Zhang Ziyi, Yeoh took your breath away.

Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

There was controversy over the casting of Chinese actors in Japanese parts, but Yeoh's performance as the graceful mentor to the film's heroine again gave her another valuable opportunity, after “Crouching Tiger”, to express her physical dexterity and dance background in a substantial acting role.

Sunshine (2007)

It's a testament to Yeoh's flexibility that she fitted in seamlessly as an environmentally concerned astronaut in Danny Boyle's science-fiction thriller, filmed at 3 Mills Studios in east London. As an admirer of Boyle's work, she lobbied hard for the part, which was written for a younger, non-Asian actor. — The Guardian

Madonna tops worldwide tours

LOS ANGELES - MADONNA and Celine Dion were the biggest worldwide concert draws in 2008, each selling more than $200 million (S$287.6 million) worth of tickets to their slickly produced shows, trade publication Pollstar said on Tuesday.

The pop singers also took the top two spots in North America, which accounts for an estimated 40 per cent of the concert business, Pollstar said.

Madonna's 'Sticky & Sweet' world tour, which finished in Brazil last week, tallied $281.6 million from 17 countries.

North American fans ponied up $105.3 million.

French-Canadian balladeer Dion, launching her first world tour in more than eight years, earned $236.6 million from 24 countries, with North America contributing $94 million.

This year marks the first time that Pollstar has compiled foreign data. Among the all-time North American tours, Madonna's ranks at No. 8 and Dion's at No. 12. The Rolling Stones hold the record with $162 million from their 2005 trek.

Dion, 40, might well be the hardest working woman in show business, having made Pollstar's list of top 10 acts every year since 2003.

That year she began a 700-plus show residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and grossed more than $385 million by the time it wrapped last December.

Rounding out the top five of Pollstar's worldwide list were Bon Jovi ($176.3 million), Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band ($165.8 million), and last year's North American champs the Police ($120.6 million).

Pollstar said fewer people went to concerts in North America this year, and despite the incipient recession those who went were prepared to sharply pay more for their tickets.

'We've had a better year than we really should have expected given the economic environment,' said Gary Bongiovanni, editor of the Fresno, California-based publication.

Ticket sales for the top 100 acts in North America rose 4.3 percent to $2.38 billion. The number of tickets sold fell three percent to 35.59 million, and the average ticket price rose nearly eight percent to a record $66.90.

Timing played a part. Acts that hit the road earlier in the year escaped the deepening economic abyss in the fall. Top-tier artists are also fairly recession-proof.

Bongiovanni said tickets have sold briskly for Britney Spears' comeback tour, which begins next March, and he predicted sales would be strong for as-yet-unannounced treks by U2 and Springsteen.

Ticket sales data do not include revenue from merchandise, such as T-shirts, which can make up a sizable chunk of tour earnings. -- REUTERS

Madonna tops worldwide tours

LOS ANGELES - MADONNA and Celine Dion were the biggest worldwide concert draws in 2008, each selling more than $200 million (S$287.6 million) worth of tickets to their slickly produced shows, trade publication Pollstar said on Tuesday.

The pop singers also took the top two spots in North America, which accounts for an estimated 40 per cent of the concert business, Pollstar said.

Madonna's 'Sticky & Sweet' world tour, which finished in Brazil last week, tallied $281.6 million from 17 countries.

North American fans ponied up $105.3 million.

French-Canadian balladeer Dion, launching her first world tour in more than eight years, earned $236.6 million from 24 countries, with North America contributing $94 million.

This year marks the first time that Pollstar has compiled foreign data. Among the all-time North American tours, Madonna's ranks at No. 8 and Dion's at No. 12. The Rolling Stones hold the record with $162 million from their 2005 trek.

Dion, 40, might well be the hardest working woman in show business, having made Pollstar's list of top 10 acts every year since 2003.

That year she began a 700-plus show residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and grossed more than $385 million by the time it wrapped last December.

Rounding out the top five of Pollstar's worldwide list were Bon Jovi ($176.3 million), Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band ($165.8 million), and last year's North American champs the Police ($120.6 million).

Pollstar said fewer people went to concerts in North America this year, and despite the incipient recession those who went were prepared to sharply pay more for their tickets.

'We've had a better year than we really should have expected given the economic environment,' said Gary Bongiovanni, editor of the Fresno, California-based publication.

Ticket sales for the top 100 acts in North America rose 4.3 percent to $2.38 billion. The number of tickets sold fell three percent to 35.59 million, and the average ticket price rose nearly eight percent to a record $66.90.

Timing played a part. Acts that hit the road earlier in the year escaped the deepening economic abyss in the fall. Top-tier artists are also fairly recession-proof.

Bongiovanni said tickets have sold briskly for Britney Spears' comeback tour, which begins next March, and he predicted sales would be strong for as-yet-unannounced treks by U2 and Springsteen.

Ticket sales data do not include revenue from merchandise, such as T-shirts, which can make up a sizable chunk of tour earnings. -- REUTERS

Jennifer Aniston thrashes Brad at the box office

LOS ANGELES, Dec 30 — Jennifer Aniston was delivered an extra special Christmas present this year — trouncing her ex-husband Brad Pitt in the US box office.

But while celebrating her latest career success, it appears the 39-year-old actress’s love life may not be quite as smooth.
Despite appearing inseparable in recent weeks after reuniting in November, the couple spent the Christmas holidays apart, prompting speculation their relationship may have soured.

After spending a week in New York promoting her new film “Marley & Me” and spending time with John Mayer, Aniston returned to LA ahead of Christmas on Dec 20, leaving her lover back in the Big Apple.
Mayer spent Christmas with his family before returning to the West Coast with his brothers Carl and Ben on Boxing Day.

The New York Post claimed Aniston utilised her relationship with Mayer — putting on uncharacteristically public displays of affection — to promote her movie.

The Post’s Page Six column wrote: “Jennifer Aniston is celebrating her box-office pummelling of ex-hubby Brad Pitt — but she’s doing it without her boy toy by her side.

“Aniston toted Mayer around through all her promotional gigs to deter interviewers from focusing on her single status.”

It is unclear whether the couple, who only started dating again last month after a four month relationship earlier this year, will be spending New Year’s Eve together.

After spending Christmas Eve dining with best friend Courteney Cox, husband David Arquette and their daughter Coco, Aniston’s movie opened on Christmas Day, receiving record takings.

“Marley & Me”, also starring Owen Wilson, took US$14.6million (RM51 million) on

its opening day and took an additional US$37million over the weekend.

Meanwhile, Pitt’s new film “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” took US$11.4million on the opening day, landing at the number three spot.

Earlier this month, Aniston spoke publicly about her feelings for Mayer, describing his as “extraordinary”.

Aniston, 39, and Mayer, 31, resumed their relationship in November — three months after the singer announced he had dumped the actress following their brief four month romance.

The singer was left looking ungentlemanly when he claimed he dumped Aniston during a video interview in August.

He said: “Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth... There’s no lying, there’s no cheating. There’s no nothing. People are different, they have different chemistry, they have different lives.

“I ended a relationship because there is no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right. I don’t waste people’s time.” — Daily Mail

Jennifer Aniston thrashes Brad at the box office

LOS ANGELES, Dec 30 — Jennifer Aniston was delivered an extra special Christmas present this year — trouncing her ex-husband Brad Pitt in the US box office.

But while celebrating her latest career success, it appears the 39-year-old actress’s love life may not be quite as smooth.
Despite appearing inseparable in recent weeks after reuniting in November, the couple spent the Christmas holidays apart, prompting speculation their relationship may have soured.

After spending a week in New York promoting her new film “Marley & Me” and spending time with John Mayer, Aniston returned to LA ahead of Christmas on Dec 20, leaving her lover back in the Big Apple.
Mayer spent Christmas with his family before returning to the West Coast with his brothers Carl and Ben on Boxing Day.

The New York Post claimed Aniston utilised her relationship with Mayer — putting on uncharacteristically public displays of affection — to promote her movie.

The Post’s Page Six column wrote: “Jennifer Aniston is celebrating her box-office pummelling of ex-hubby Brad Pitt — but she’s doing it without her boy toy by her side.

“Aniston toted Mayer around through all her promotional gigs to deter interviewers from focusing on her single status.”

It is unclear whether the couple, who only started dating again last month after a four month relationship earlier this year, will be spending New Year’s Eve together.

After spending Christmas Eve dining with best friend Courteney Cox, husband David Arquette and their daughter Coco, Aniston’s movie opened on Christmas Day, receiving record takings.

“Marley & Me”, also starring Owen Wilson, took US$14.6million (RM51 million) on

its opening day and took an additional US$37million over the weekend.

Meanwhile, Pitt’s new film “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” took US$11.4million on the opening day, landing at the number three spot.

Earlier this month, Aniston spoke publicly about her feelings for Mayer, describing his as “extraordinary”.

Aniston, 39, and Mayer, 31, resumed their relationship in November — three months after the singer announced he had dumped the actress following their brief four month romance.

The singer was left looking ungentlemanly when he claimed he dumped Aniston during a video interview in August.

He said: “Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth... There’s no lying, there’s no cheating. There’s no nothing. People are different, they have different chemistry, they have different lives.

“I ended a relationship because there is no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right. I don’t waste people’s time.” — Daily Mail

Sandler’s ‘Bedtime Stories’ feeling tired

LOS ANGELES, Dec 29 — Adam Sandler returns to the familiar man-child of yore with “Bedtime Stories”, a desperate family-friendly comedy about wild night-time fantasies that magically come true in broad daylight.

Truly, Sandler seemed to have moved beyond this comfortable adolescent state, past the goofy persona he forged for himself with early movies like “Billy Madison” and “Little Nicky”. He’s proven he can act, really act, with surprising vulnerability and nuance in “Punch-Drunk Love” and “Spanglish”. He seemed to have turned, God forbid, into a grown-up.

Even though “Bedtime Stories” represents a first for Sandler — a comedy that’s appropriate for all ages — it still feels like a giant leap backward for him. As Skeeter Bronson, the handyman at a boutique Los Angeles hotel, Sandler is doing that same silly, growly voice he uses in his “Hanukkah Song”.

Forced to look after his young niece Bobbi (Laura Ann Kesling) and nephew Patrick (Jonathan Morgan Heit) for a week while his sister (Courteney Cox) is out of town lining up a new job, Skeeter finds the only way to connect with the kids, and get them to go to sleep, is by telling them bedtime stories.

Soon, Bobbi and Patrick are chiming in with their own ideas about what the tales should include — gum balls falling from the sky, violent midgets, gooey booger monsters — and in no time, those details start creeping into Skeeter’s life. And those surreal occurrences inspire Skeeter as he racks his brain for a design concept for the new hotel his boss is launching.

It’s a whimsical and not-too-shabby idea from writers Matt Lopez and long-time Sandler friend and collaborator Tim Herlihy. But under the direction of Adam Shankman (“Hairspray”), the result is too often flat, crass and disjointed. Even though Shankman has plenty of elaborate themes to play with — Skeeter stars as the hero of a Western, a “Star Wars” takeoff and a gladiator adventure, for example — he keeps cutting away ad nauseam to the kids’ freakishly wide-eyed guinea pig, which isn’t even vaguely funny the first time. And in keeping with the raunchiness that traditionally infuses Sandler’s comedies, there are also various sight gags involving flatulent or slimy animals.

Harmless, sure — but also needless.

Russell Brand gets the few seriously funny lines in the script as the hotel’s room service waiter, though his brash comic tendencies — the ones that made him a scene-stealer earlier this year in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” — are, of course, suppressed here. Richard Griffiths and Guy Pearce are slumming as the hotel’s pompous owner and the suck-up who wants to take over his empire, respectively. And the always lovely Keri Russell goes woefully to waste in the straight-woman role as the kids’ baby sitter and Skeeter’s would-be love interest.

That last part might be the wildest fantasy of all. — AP

Sandler’s ‘Bedtime Stories’ feeling tired

LOS ANGELES, Dec 29 — Adam Sandler returns to the familiar man-child of yore with “Bedtime Stories”, a desperate family-friendly comedy about wild night-time fantasies that magically come true in broad daylight.

Truly, Sandler seemed to have moved beyond this comfortable adolescent state, past the goofy persona he forged for himself with early movies like “Billy Madison” and “Little Nicky”. He’s proven he can act, really act, with surprising vulnerability and nuance in “Punch-Drunk Love” and “Spanglish”. He seemed to have turned, God forbid, into a grown-up.

Even though “Bedtime Stories” represents a first for Sandler — a comedy that’s appropriate for all ages — it still feels like a giant leap backward for him. As Skeeter Bronson, the handyman at a boutique Los Angeles hotel, Sandler is doing that same silly, growly voice he uses in his “Hanukkah Song”.

Forced to look after his young niece Bobbi (Laura Ann Kesling) and nephew Patrick (Jonathan Morgan Heit) for a week while his sister (Courteney Cox) is out of town lining up a new job, Skeeter finds the only way to connect with the kids, and get them to go to sleep, is by telling them bedtime stories.

Soon, Bobbi and Patrick are chiming in with their own ideas about what the tales should include — gum balls falling from the sky, violent midgets, gooey booger monsters — and in no time, those details start creeping into Skeeter’s life. And those surreal occurrences inspire Skeeter as he racks his brain for a design concept for the new hotel his boss is launching.

It’s a whimsical and not-too-shabby idea from writers Matt Lopez and long-time Sandler friend and collaborator Tim Herlihy. But under the direction of Adam Shankman (“Hairspray”), the result is too often flat, crass and disjointed. Even though Shankman has plenty of elaborate themes to play with — Skeeter stars as the hero of a Western, a “Star Wars” takeoff and a gladiator adventure, for example — he keeps cutting away ad nauseam to the kids’ freakishly wide-eyed guinea pig, which isn’t even vaguely funny the first time. And in keeping with the raunchiness that traditionally infuses Sandler’s comedies, there are also various sight gags involving flatulent or slimy animals.

Harmless, sure — but also needless.

Russell Brand gets the few seriously funny lines in the script as the hotel’s room service waiter, though his brash comic tendencies — the ones that made him a scene-stealer earlier this year in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” — are, of course, suppressed here. Richard Griffiths and Guy Pearce are slumming as the hotel’s pompous owner and the suck-up who wants to take over his empire, respectively. And the always lovely Keri Russell goes woefully to waste in the straight-woman role as the kids’ baby sitter and Skeeter’s would-be love interest.

That last part might be the wildest fantasy of all. — AP

The Celebrity Oscars

LONDON, Dec 28 — The romantic — and amusing, antics of the 2008 winners and sinners.

The Old Rogue of the Year (sponsored by Viagra)

This award is given to the gentleman of 60 or more who most successfully ignored the passing years in his pursuit of the fairer sex. In a hotly contested category, the nominees are...

SIR PAUL McCARTNEY, 66, who emerged from the wreckage of his marriage to Heather in fine form, squiring a succession of middle-aged beauties, including actress (and former girlfriend of Peter Gabriel) Rosanna Arquette, before settling into the elegant embrace of New York businesswoman Nancy Shevell.

HUGH HEFNER, 82, who declared in February that his No 1 girlfriend Holly Madison, 29, was, “the relationship that will last the rest of my life”.

By October, however, he’d dumped Holly and the other two girls of the Playboy Mansion, Kendra Wilkinson, 23, and Bridget Marquardt, 35. In their place came 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. So both of Hef’s current girlfriends, added together, are still less than half his age.

RONNIE WOOD, a stripling of 61, who in a few wild weeks this summer managed to wreck his 23-year-old marriage to wife Jo and fall off the sobriety wagon after a wild bender ended with him falling for Ekaterina Ivanova, a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress at a sleazy Soho escort bar. Months later, the couple still appear to be together, but the marriage is beyond repair.

AND THE WINNER IS . . . Ronnie Wood! He entertained us all by being living proof that there’s no fool like an old fool, without actually being quite as stomach-churningly sordid as The Hef.

The Dazzling Dame of the Year (sponsored by HRT)

The winner of this award will be the woman of mature years who has, in the judges’ opinion, aged most elegantly and in the most sprightly fashion.

The nominees are...

DAME HELEN MIRREN who, quite simply, looked hotter in a red bikini than any woman of 63 ever has, with a figure that put girls half her age to shame.

VALERIE SINGLETON, 71, who put perennial rumours of her same-sex proclivities to rest with the simple declaration: “I am the opposite of gay.”

She proved it with revelations of a fling with “Blue Peter” co-star Peter Purves, a steamy cuddle with actor Albert Finney and a relationship with a builder 24 years her junior.

JULIE CHRISTIE, 67, who revealed that she had secretly wed her long-time partner, journalist Duncan Campbell, in India (the land of her birth) before jetting off to LA, where she had been nominated for a Best Actress Oscar this year, to look stunning on the red carpet.

ESTHER RANTZEN, 68, who flirted outrageously with 26-year-old King Of The Jungle Joe Swash during “I’m A Celebrity ... Get me Out of Here!”. She also unpacked some surprisingly raunchy undies before revealing that she had lost her virginity in a one-night stand with a doctor on a Greek holiday. Esther, really!

AND THE WINNER IS. . . Dame Helen Mirren! Her movie director husband, Taylor Hackford, is a very lucky man.

The Prettiest Couple on Earth

They’re young, they’re beautiful, they’re talented and they’re loved up.

The nominees are...

SUPERMODEL Miranda Kerr

ORLANDO BLOOM and MIRANDA KERR. He’s the 31-year-old epitome of the pretty-boy movie star; she is a 25-year-old Victoria’s Secret model (three words which make any man’s heart beat faster) from Australia.

BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE because. . . oh, come on! Does anyone on earth need this explained?


JESSICA BIEL

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL. This month’s GQ cover-girl took the place of fellow actress Cameron Diaz in Justin’s heart, which tells one something about the calibre of partner the singer attracts.

NICOLE SCHERZINGER

LEWIS HAMILTON and NICOLE SCHERZINGER. When you’re an F1 World Champion, girls aren’t hard to find. Lewis, 23, has teamed up with Filipina/Hawaiian/Russian Nicole, the 30-year-old lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls.

AND THE WINNERS ARE . . . Lewis and Nicole! In 2008 the coolest people were mixed race, from Barack Obama and golfer Tiger Woods to “The X Factor’s” Leona Lewis. No one embodied that better than Lewis and Nicole.

Political Co-stars of the Year

Forget actors, models or sports stars, the hottest celebrity trend of the

year was sexy political duos. The nominees are...

US President-elect BARACK OBAMA and his wife MICHELLE. The 47-year-old became the world’s political pin-up, supported by a beautiful, radical wife and the mother of his two lovely girls. That White House dinner party invite will be the hottest ticket.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, next up is LEMBIT OPIK and GABRIELA ‘CHEEKY GIRL’ IRIMIA. A 43-year-old Lib Dem politician with a silly name meets a 26-year-old Z-list popstrel with one of the silliest hits ever. Three months after their engagement in Rome, they had split. Phew!

NICOLAS SARKOZY and CARLA BRUNI. The French President, 53, was a political dead duck when he married supermodel Carla, 41, after a whirlwind 11-week courtship. At first the French were sceptical, but her Jackie Kennedy style aura wowed everyone — even the British monarchy. The unprintable gossip about the two of them is magnifique!

SARAH and TODD PALIN. She shoots moose, he races jetskis and the whole family breed like Alaskan rabbits. Sarah attracts virulent mockery, but is she a natural superstar? You betcha!

AND THE WINNERS ARE. . . Nicolas and Carla! But it was a close-run thing. If she ever runs off with Barack, they’ll be hotter than a Large Hadron Collider.

The ‘Too-Much-Information’ Award

Many stars restrict their public utterances to carefully scripted PR banalities. Others, however, tell (or show) us more than we would ever want to hear or see. The nominees are...

RUSSELL BRAND, 33, the sometime actor and disgraced ex-BBC presenter who

responded to rumours that he would appear in the next “Pirates Of The Caribbean” movie with: ‘I am having a skull and crossbones tattooed on my nipples in anticipation of the plotline.’

P. DIDDY who sent a thank-you letter to the suppliers of Betty Beauty pubic hair dye. Apparently the 39-year-old rapper likes to transform his nether regions to create the perfect ‘holiday package’.

JOHN BARROWMAN, 41, who proved He’d Do Anything by flashing his manhood during Radio 1’s “The Switch” show, which was being filmed for online.

HUGH JACKMAN, 40, aka Wolverine in the “X-Men” films, who revealed that he wears his costumes when making love to his wife because, ‘She loves the idea of me coming home in costume because it makes her feel like she’s having an affair in a good way’.

AND THE WINNER IS. . . John Barrowman! For goodness sake, put it away!

Worst Love-Rat Award

An equal-opportunity award, given to the individual whose behaviour most flagrantly violates the accepted codes of sexual and romantic decency. The nominees are...

GORDON RAMSAY, for whom the F-word appears to be a way of life as well as a foulmouthed figure of speech. The super-chef, 42, has risked his marriage to wife Tana and his £60 million (RM330 million) fortune, which her father manages, in an alleged seven-year affair with ‘professional mistress’ (isn’t there another name for that?) Sarah Symonds.

TILDA SWINTON. She may be a brilliant actress with impeccable breeding and a Cambridge degree, but if she were a man who left his partner with their ten-year-old twins to go swanning round the world with a lover almost 20 years his junior, people would be shocked. But she’s done it.

The 48 year-old’s partner John Byrne, 68, stays at home in Nairn with the kids, while Tilda travels with artist and actor Sandro Koop, 29, much to the distress of the girlfriend whom he deserted to be with Tilda.

SIENNA MILLER, bless her, just can’t get excited about a man unless another woman has got excited about him — and, preferably, married him — first. She made her name with married father-of-four Jude Law, dallied briefly with Daniel Craig soon after his seven-year relationship with actress Heike Makatsch ended, while this year’s man was married father-of-four Balthazar Getty. Sienna swears his marriage was already over. Well, it is now.

RUSSELL BRAND (yes, him again). His fling with Georgina Baillie would have been just one more notch on the bedpost for this compulsive (but not very competent, she claims) lothario. Then DJ Brand (above) decided to call Georgina’s 78-year-old grandfather Andrew Sachs on Brand’s radio show to make a series of vile, lewd, bullying remarks about his sex with her, egged on by the leering, over-excited Jonathan Ross. Horsewhipping would have been too good for them.

AND THE WINNER IS ... Russell Brand! He’s an insult to rats — intelligent clean creatures from which he could learn a great deal.

Most Hellish Ex

It’s over, finito, gone for good - but some girls just won't let it lie.

The nominations are...

MADONNA who may have been generous with the postnuptial split, but she made Guy pay in other ways. She mocked him from her concert stages and reportedly sent him the children accompanied by an eccentric list of dos and don’ts. Madge, if Guy gives them a burger in front of the telly, it’s not the end of the world.

HEATHER MILLS McCARTNEY may get married again one day, but after her bizarre behaviour before, during and after her divorce case, it’ll be a very brave (or foolish) husband. Having rubbished Paul for months, she was silenced by court order, only to threaten a tell-all ‘novel’. Well worth the £24million settlement for the Beatle to be rid of her.

JENNIFER ANISTON is a stunning woman, so why, four years on, is she still moaning about Angelina Jolie being ‘really uncool’ when she stole Brad from her on the set of Mr And Mrs Smith four years ago?

ALICE FAYE EICHELBERGER allegedly felt that her childless 15-year marriage to John Cleese entitled her to £17,000-a-week maintenance, half of all his earnings since 1992, and houses in London and New York. It also made Cleese immensely boring by going on about the injustice.

AND THE WINNER IS. . . Heather Mills McCartney! Could it ever have been anyone else?

Celebrity Love Battle

Calm down, dear, it’s only an argy-bargy between two famous lovers! But there was a lot of it about. And so the nominees are...

ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT, whose marital squabbles have, according to US tabloid rumours, become so severe that Brad has bought his beloved a course of anger-management classes. Angelina allegedly learned to throw knives for “Tomb Raider”, and likes to practise her skills, with Brad as her target, when they fight.

LINDSAY LOHAN and SAMANTHA RONSON. The lesbian lovers started screaming and shoving one another at a London nightclub after DJ Sam saw actress Lindsay dancing a little too closely with ex-boyfriend Calum Best. Wildly entertaining gay catfight ensued.

KATE MOSS and rocker boyfriend JAMIE HINCE have a tempestuous relationship. They fought when she found a vial of his ex-girlfriend’s blood and exchanged scratches spatting over holiday plans.

AMY WINEHOUSE and hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL are the Sid and Nancy of the 21st Century. But no sooner had ‘me Blakey’ got out of jail than they were having such an appalling phone row that it triggered a boozy bender, putting Amy in hospital.

AND THE WINNERS ARE. . . Brad and Angelina! Duck, Brad, duck! — Daily Mail

The Celebrity Oscars

LONDON, Dec 28 — The romantic — and amusing, antics of the 2008 winners and sinners.

The Old Rogue of the Year (sponsored by Viagra)

This award is given to the gentleman of 60 or more who most successfully ignored the passing years in his pursuit of the fairer sex. In a hotly contested category, the nominees are...

SIR PAUL McCARTNEY, 66, who emerged from the wreckage of his marriage to Heather in fine form, squiring a succession of middle-aged beauties, including actress (and former girlfriend of Peter Gabriel) Rosanna Arquette, before settling into the elegant embrace of New York businesswoman Nancy Shevell.

HUGH HEFNER, 82, who declared in February that his No 1 girlfriend Holly Madison, 29, was, “the relationship that will last the rest of my life”.

By October, however, he’d dumped Holly and the other two girls of the Playboy Mansion, Kendra Wilkinson, 23, and Bridget Marquardt, 35. In their place came 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. So both of Hef’s current girlfriends, added together, are still less than half his age.

RONNIE WOOD, a stripling of 61, who in a few wild weeks this summer managed to wreck his 23-year-old marriage to wife Jo and fall off the sobriety wagon after a wild bender ended with him falling for Ekaterina Ivanova, a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress at a sleazy Soho escort bar. Months later, the couple still appear to be together, but the marriage is beyond repair.

AND THE WINNER IS . . . Ronnie Wood! He entertained us all by being living proof that there’s no fool like an old fool, without actually being quite as stomach-churningly sordid as The Hef.

The Dazzling Dame of the Year (sponsored by HRT)

The winner of this award will be the woman of mature years who has, in the judges’ opinion, aged most elegantly and in the most sprightly fashion.

The nominees are...

DAME HELEN MIRREN who, quite simply, looked hotter in a red bikini than any woman of 63 ever has, with a figure that put girls half her age to shame.

VALERIE SINGLETON, 71, who put perennial rumours of her same-sex proclivities to rest with the simple declaration: “I am the opposite of gay.”

She proved it with revelations of a fling with “Blue Peter” co-star Peter Purves, a steamy cuddle with actor Albert Finney and a relationship with a builder 24 years her junior.

JULIE CHRISTIE, 67, who revealed that she had secretly wed her long-time partner, journalist Duncan Campbell, in India (the land of her birth) before jetting off to LA, where she had been nominated for a Best Actress Oscar this year, to look stunning on the red carpet.

ESTHER RANTZEN, 68, who flirted outrageously with 26-year-old King Of The Jungle Joe Swash during “I’m A Celebrity ... Get me Out of Here!”. She also unpacked some surprisingly raunchy undies before revealing that she had lost her virginity in a one-night stand with a doctor on a Greek holiday. Esther, really!

AND THE WINNER IS. . . Dame Helen Mirren! Her movie director husband, Taylor Hackford, is a very lucky man.

The Prettiest Couple on Earth

They’re young, they’re beautiful, they’re talented and they’re loved up.

The nominees are...

SUPERMODEL Miranda Kerr

ORLANDO BLOOM and MIRANDA KERR. He’s the 31-year-old epitome of the pretty-boy movie star; she is a 25-year-old Victoria’s Secret model (three words which make any man’s heart beat faster) from Australia.

BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE because. . . oh, come on! Does anyone on earth need this explained?


JESSICA BIEL

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL. This month’s GQ cover-girl took the place of fellow actress Cameron Diaz in Justin’s heart, which tells one something about the calibre of partner the singer attracts.

NICOLE SCHERZINGER

LEWIS HAMILTON and NICOLE SCHERZINGER. When you’re an F1 World Champion, girls aren’t hard to find. Lewis, 23, has teamed up with Filipina/Hawaiian/Russian Nicole, the 30-year-old lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls.

AND THE WINNERS ARE . . . Lewis and Nicole! In 2008 the coolest people were mixed race, from Barack Obama and golfer Tiger Woods to “The X Factor’s” Leona Lewis. No one embodied that better than Lewis and Nicole.

Political Co-stars of the Year

Forget actors, models or sports stars, the hottest celebrity trend of the

year was sexy political duos. The nominees are...

US President-elect BARACK OBAMA and his wife MICHELLE. The 47-year-old became the world’s political pin-up, supported by a beautiful, radical wife and the mother of his two lovely girls. That White House dinner party invite will be the hottest ticket.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, next up is LEMBIT OPIK and GABRIELA ‘CHEEKY GIRL’ IRIMIA. A 43-year-old Lib Dem politician with a silly name meets a 26-year-old Z-list popstrel with one of the silliest hits ever. Three months after their engagement in Rome, they had split. Phew!

NICOLAS SARKOZY and CARLA BRUNI. The French President, 53, was a political dead duck when he married supermodel Carla, 41, after a whirlwind 11-week courtship. At first the French were sceptical, but her Jackie Kennedy style aura wowed everyone — even the British monarchy. The unprintable gossip about the two of them is magnifique!

SARAH and TODD PALIN. She shoots moose, he races jetskis and the whole family breed like Alaskan rabbits. Sarah attracts virulent mockery, but is she a natural superstar? You betcha!

AND THE WINNERS ARE. . . Nicolas and Carla! But it was a close-run thing. If she ever runs off with Barack, they’ll be hotter than a Large Hadron Collider.

The ‘Too-Much-Information’ Award

Many stars restrict their public utterances to carefully scripted PR banalities. Others, however, tell (or show) us more than we would ever want to hear or see. The nominees are...

RUSSELL BRAND, 33, the sometime actor and disgraced ex-BBC presenter who

responded to rumours that he would appear in the next “Pirates Of The Caribbean” movie with: ‘I am having a skull and crossbones tattooed on my nipples in anticipation of the plotline.’

P. DIDDY who sent a thank-you letter to the suppliers of Betty Beauty pubic hair dye. Apparently the 39-year-old rapper likes to transform his nether regions to create the perfect ‘holiday package’.

JOHN BARROWMAN, 41, who proved He’d Do Anything by flashing his manhood during Radio 1’s “The Switch” show, which was being filmed for online.

HUGH JACKMAN, 40, aka Wolverine in the “X-Men” films, who revealed that he wears his costumes when making love to his wife because, ‘She loves the idea of me coming home in costume because it makes her feel like she’s having an affair in a good way’.

AND THE WINNER IS. . . John Barrowman! For goodness sake, put it away!

Worst Love-Rat Award

An equal-opportunity award, given to the individual whose behaviour most flagrantly violates the accepted codes of sexual and romantic decency. The nominees are...

GORDON RAMSAY, for whom the F-word appears to be a way of life as well as a foulmouthed figure of speech. The super-chef, 42, has risked his marriage to wife Tana and his £60 million (RM330 million) fortune, which her father manages, in an alleged seven-year affair with ‘professional mistress’ (isn’t there another name for that?) Sarah Symonds.

TILDA SWINTON. She may be a brilliant actress with impeccable breeding and a Cambridge degree, but if she were a man who left his partner with their ten-year-old twins to go swanning round the world with a lover almost 20 years his junior, people would be shocked. But she’s done it.

The 48 year-old’s partner John Byrne, 68, stays at home in Nairn with the kids, while Tilda travels with artist and actor Sandro Koop, 29, much to the distress of the girlfriend whom he deserted to be with Tilda.

SIENNA MILLER, bless her, just can’t get excited about a man unless another woman has got excited about him — and, preferably, married him — first. She made her name with married father-of-four Jude Law, dallied briefly with Daniel Craig soon after his seven-year relationship with actress Heike Makatsch ended, while this year’s man was married father-of-four Balthazar Getty. Sienna swears his marriage was already over. Well, it is now.

RUSSELL BRAND (yes, him again). His fling with Georgina Baillie would have been just one more notch on the bedpost for this compulsive (but not very competent, she claims) lothario. Then DJ Brand (above) decided to call Georgina’s 78-year-old grandfather Andrew Sachs on Brand’s radio show to make a series of vile, lewd, bullying remarks about his sex with her, egged on by the leering, over-excited Jonathan Ross. Horsewhipping would have been too good for them.

AND THE WINNER IS ... Russell Brand! He’s an insult to rats — intelligent clean creatures from which he could learn a great deal.

Most Hellish Ex

It’s over, finito, gone for good - but some girls just won't let it lie.

The nominations are...

MADONNA who may have been generous with the postnuptial split, but she made Guy pay in other ways. She mocked him from her concert stages and reportedly sent him the children accompanied by an eccentric list of dos and don’ts. Madge, if Guy gives them a burger in front of the telly, it’s not the end of the world.

HEATHER MILLS McCARTNEY may get married again one day, but after her bizarre behaviour before, during and after her divorce case, it’ll be a very brave (or foolish) husband. Having rubbished Paul for months, she was silenced by court order, only to threaten a tell-all ‘novel’. Well worth the £24million settlement for the Beatle to be rid of her.

JENNIFER ANISTON is a stunning woman, so why, four years on, is she still moaning about Angelina Jolie being ‘really uncool’ when she stole Brad from her on the set of Mr And Mrs Smith four years ago?

ALICE FAYE EICHELBERGER allegedly felt that her childless 15-year marriage to John Cleese entitled her to £17,000-a-week maintenance, half of all his earnings since 1992, and houses in London and New York. It also made Cleese immensely boring by going on about the injustice.

AND THE WINNER IS. . . Heather Mills McCartney! Could it ever have been anyone else?

Celebrity Love Battle

Calm down, dear, it’s only an argy-bargy between two famous lovers! But there was a lot of it about. And so the nominees are...

ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT, whose marital squabbles have, according to US tabloid rumours, become so severe that Brad has bought his beloved a course of anger-management classes. Angelina allegedly learned to throw knives for “Tomb Raider”, and likes to practise her skills, with Brad as her target, when they fight.

LINDSAY LOHAN and SAMANTHA RONSON. The lesbian lovers started screaming and shoving one another at a London nightclub after DJ Sam saw actress Lindsay dancing a little too closely with ex-boyfriend Calum Best. Wildly entertaining gay catfight ensued.

KATE MOSS and rocker boyfriend JAMIE HINCE have a tempestuous relationship. They fought when she found a vial of his ex-girlfriend’s blood and exchanged scratches spatting over holiday plans.

AMY WINEHOUSE and hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL are the Sid and Nancy of the 21st Century. But no sooner had ‘me Blakey’ got out of jail than they were having such an appalling phone row that it triggered a boozy bender, putting Amy in hospital.

AND THE WINNERS ARE. . . Brad and Angelina! Duck, Brad, duck! — Daily Mail

‘Tis Oscar season: Nomination ballots in the mail

BEVERLY HILLS, Dec 27 — The holidays may be winding down, but for Oscar fans, the season of celebration has just begun.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences mailed 5,810 official Oscar nominations ballots to voting members yesterday, and perhaps no one was more excited — or more daunted — to cast votes than its 105 newest members.

"It's like 'Wayne's World.' I'm not worthy," said Doug Cooper, 35, who just joined the short films and feature animation branch. "Basically, it's fear. You have to make a decision."

Cinematographer Jonathan Brown said he and his industry pals have been doing their own Oscar polling for years — but this time, his vote really counts.

"The idea that now it matters is so cool," he said. "We can, in a small way, have an influence in people getting recognised."

New academy inductees were recently toasted at a private reception in Beverly Hills, where they mingled with fellow members and reflected on what it means to belong to Hollywood's most exclusive club.

Producer Armyan Bernstein said he's been preparing to cast Oscar votes since he was a child.

"My mom would get dressed up on Oscar night and make a special dinner," he said. "The next day, we didn't have to go to school. It was like a Jewish holiday."

Academy president Sid Ganis welcomed the group and reminded them of their power as Oscar voters.

"Conscientiously wield that power," he said. "Fill out ballots as thoughtfully as you can. This is your area of expertise."

Each of the academy's 15 branches is responsible for nominating those in their field — so actors nominate actors and sound engineers nominate sound engineers — based on the eligible films released that year. (There were 281 in 2008.) Oscar's final winners are determined by the entire voting membership, regardless of what branch they claim.

"Don't vote in any category in which (a) you haven't seen all the nominated achievements, or (b) you don't feel qualified to make a sophisticated critical judgment," Ganis said. "Don't vote if you haven't got all the information. It's the honourable thing to do."

Membership in the academy is by invitation based on professional accomplishment. Nominations will be announced on Jan 22 and Oscars will be presented on Feb 22.

Academy members typically spend hours and hours watching the nominated films on DVD or in theatres before casting their final votes.

Helena Packer, a new member in the visual effects branch, said anxiety about the voting process began when she joined the academy.

"When a movie grabs you, you're not thinking in critical terms," she said. "This will require repeated viewing."

But Jim Houston, a new member at large, said that as a filmmaker, he feels qualified to weigh in on others' work.

"Once you start making movies, you have an internal critic going at all times," said the 49-year-old, adding that he's as interested in the academy's science and technology council as he is in casting Oscar votes.

While voting on the Oscars is one of the most coveted responsibilities of academy members, it's hardly their only opportunity to wield influence in the world of film. The organisation maintains expansive movie and screenplay archives, operates a film-studies library, and hosts exhibits, screenings and special programmes throughout the year — and academy members are key figures in all of it.

"The coolest thing is getting access to members, collections and events," said Brown, who just joined the cinematographers branch.

Members can volunteer to serve as readers for the academy's annual Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting competition or help spread the word about their craft through its media-literacy programme at local schools.

Regardless of how they plan to get involved, their work begins in earnest as soon as those nomination ballots land in their mailboxes. — AP